My name is Marie and I am a recovering addict. I got to the fellowship of Cocaine Anonymous three years ago as I knew I had serious problems with my drug use and in my life, however, I did not stay and now know that I wanted the problems that drugs were causing in my life to be taken away but not my drugs!  The carnage and destruction I caused to myself and others until I got back to the rooms of CA via a treatment centre 2 years later proved to me that addiction only gets worse never better. 

Today thanks to CA, people at meetings and the 12 step program I live a life beyond my wildest dreams alcohol and drug free one day at a time.

Drugs were always in my life, I had an accident aged 11 and abused prescribed medication throughout my teenage years.  At secondary school I took acid regularly and drank alcohol.  When I passed my driving test at 17 I started abusing amphetamines, I lost my 1^st good job after falling asleep in the toilet after a week long bender. 

I got involved in the club scene, working and partying as well as holding down a full time job, training at college and throughout all of my twenties did not think I had a problem despite the fact I could not leave the house 1^st without being stoned, I used to scoff at people that did not live the way that I did.  I always thought work hard, party hard - that was the way I lived and I did not have a problem.

Cocaine and Crack became a daily habit by the time I was 31 and I still thought I was OK as I made it to my work I was self employed, I lied, cheated and stole to fund my using from clients, partners, family, friends until eventually I was a paranoid wreck sitting at home alone smoking crack, taking cocaine and dabbling in heroin, it took a further 4 years of this before my health started to deteriorate badly and then I realised that I did not have a life and had lost EVERYTHING that was important to me, relationships, material possessions, financial gains, jobs EVERYTHING I cared about including myself.